Confession #~
Jatuh cinta, akhirnya, pada hidup dan kehidupan. Meski terkadang pahit, namun manis yang terasa sesudah itu terasa lebih indah saat dikenang. Atau untuk dikenang.
Kurasakan kesakralan yang terasa makin langka dari dunia sekelilingku. Kutemukan lagi si pemantik api, dia yang mendobrak pintu kedataran, mencoba menarikku keluar dari titik minus jurang kejenuhan ini. Tahu bahwa seharusnya aku bersyukur. Tahu bahwa yang terluka semata batin ini, yang patah hati, yang manja karena tak kunjung yang terkasih membalas ekspresi cinta. Posesif, destruktif; dan hanya tak peduli bahwa cara itu salah.
Tetapi dia tetap datang, menyuburkan harapan itu. Meski diri ini tetap merasa tergantung- tidak, akar masalah itu masih belum terselesaikan!
…Dan masih saja rasa takut itu membayangi. Bayangan akan pengkhianatan. Cemburu. Bosan. Semua jadi satu, semua jadi begitu… fluktuatif(untuk tidak mengatakan, begeistern).
Positive Karma
(It’s been quite a long time that I don’t speak much in English, so let me just practice it now, then)
A Little Update On Daily Routines
Life’s getting more and more wonderful each day(to not to make it sound that harsh, ha ha)… especially when there are (so) much responsibility upon your shoulder. So incidentally I have these ‘contracts’(:p) with a few people to morning-call them everyday(and yes, I’m talking about my Mom and Dad and this you-know-who boy:p)-this task contributes more to my already-heaping-responsibility as a physics and Deutsch student, HIMAFI member, SEF secretary, nice girl, and an upcoming lady. Those are basically what I do everyday now… studying, studying, meeting, and having some fun. I must admit that sometimes responsibilty DOES create some variation in life… just try to balance it with your right fulfillment.
He Loves Chocolate
I do too!:D
Honestly here is what I think to be a positive karma. I used to hate poems, now I enjoy it as much as I read Atam P. Arya’s classical mechanics(ha ha ha, what kind of leisure can that be??). I used to hate to spend money on sms, now it seems that I’m addicted to check my handphone occasionally and reply yours. This sounds to be royal, but as I don’t want to view it from negative perspectives, let’s just count it as positive karma as well… at least this sms things has been one of my most enjoyable guilty pleasure. Thanks to you that I can feel this karma.
(oh look what the karma has done to me… I’m starting to write such cheesy, poetic lines! And I enjoy it!-lol-)
Oops…
…There’s something fishy going on around here
(Got to ask Mama what to do next, aha ha)
